TRUISMS - Common Sense

Economic Models Explained Using Goats

Economic Models Explained Using Goats
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You have 2 goats.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
You have 2 goats.
The FASCISMState takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two goats.
You sell one and buy a kid.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four goats.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the goat has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two goats.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four goats back, with a tax exemption for five goats.

5 Undeniable Facts of Life

5 Undeniable Facts of Life  

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1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.  

2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.  

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks is priceless.  

4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband  

5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors and Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.  

I haven't verified these on "Snopes," but they sound about right!!

 

 

 

THE 5 ANSWERS YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR (again not verified by “Snopes”) !!!

 

 

1. Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?

     A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder'.

 

 

2. Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?

     A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear .

 

 

3. Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES ORIGINALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?

     A: Because when they come, they're wet and wild, and when they go, they

          take your house and car with them.

 

 

4. Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?

     A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

 

 

BONUS QUESTION & ANSWER

Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?

A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

  

 

Nominated as the world's best short joke :

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

 

 

 

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Some of your best ever, Dean. All great. Thanks

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