Definitions for real-life…
COLLEGE: A place where parents pay, and children play.
LIFE INSURANCE: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
NURSE: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
MARRIAGE: “An agreement in which the husband loses his bachelor's degree, and the wife gains her masters.”
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and in the end, everybody disagrees.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late, and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections, and good-for-nothing after.
HOSPITAL: An institution that cures your ills by pills, and then kills you with bills.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE: A group of officials who can do nothing individually, and then decide that nothing can be done together.
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